A good read....

Today I set down with the latest issue of Success Magazine and read it cover to cover. Normally, I do this at a coffee spot and treat myself to a decadent frothy coffee drink. This morning I read it in the "Grandmother arm chair" with a cup of Caffix. I have been going to a coffee to do it to avoid the distractions of home and my daughter. However, I learned this morning that  I find the magazine so engaging that I can tune out the distractions and make my daughter wait until I am done. In the future I'll save my money, make a latte and enjoy the magazine all in the comfort of my own arm chair.

www.success.com

A weekend away........

I have spent this weekend away in a house by a lake. I have been coming to this place for over 40 years and it still holds the ability to quiet my mind, relax my body and help me find clarity. This weekend my clarity came in new understanding on my life moving forward, writing a first draft of a document for my business and looking deeper into my relationship with my already teenage at 11 y.o daughter. I am always grateful for these weekends of reflection. Even more grateful that my parents had the foresight to buy this place 40 years ago and see in it a respite from city life. I hope that future generations that come here will also see its beauty, find rest and gain clarity. And to boot, Marco (the dog) feels right at home in the house and by the lake.

Flexibility is key...

I work with my clients to build in flexibility to their daily and/or weekly schedules in case they get a last minute work assignment, the kid gets sick or their elderly parent falls and is rushed to the ER. Well, today it paid off for me. My daughter's school bus was running really late, so we and the other parents and kids waiting, hopped the subway to get o school on time. Since I was just headed to the gym after she got on the bus, I had the flexibility to do this. Having kids, makes flexibility a must.

Postcard of reality

My daughter and I were talking recently and I said that I would send her a postcard from my upcoming trip that read, "Wish you were here. Opps! You weren't invited." She didn't take kindly to this. However as a single mom, it is important for my daughter and I to have time apart. Time apart is good for any relationship. It allows two or more people to regroup, recreate appreciation for the other(s) and recommit to the relationship. I know that I will miss my daughter when I am away and she will miss me. Also, I know each of us will be glad to be apart from the other since of late we have been on each other's cases a lot. A little peach goes along way!

What Tinkerbell Taught me about authority...

I am not referring to the Tinkerbell of Disney or Peter Pan's fairy sidekick. I am referring to Tinkerbell, the Clydesdale at the stable where I take riding lessons. At my last lesson, she wanted to stop and occasionally stop and snack. To get her to move or keep moving, I had to use a stern voice and a swift hand on her side. Tinkerbell taught me that authority comes out of a stern voice and swift actions. As my daughter heads in to her teenage years and if she is like me, this lesson well be in use.

Doing the unthinkable

Last nifgt I took my daughter and her BFF to a concert. This isn't the unthinkable. The seats were high up and I am afraid of heights. Despite my fear, I sat in my seat (after I got acclimated) and enjoyed the concert. I did the unthinkable by pushing aside my fear. The best part is that I taught my daughter and her friend that fears don't have to control you. I didn't wake up this morning with my fear gone, but woke up knowing that I can be up high despite my fear. However, I don't plan on walking a high wire anytime soon.

R&R

This traditionally means rest and relaxation. In my house I am teaching my 11 y.o. teenage daughter that it means respect and responsibility. Respect is for others and their belongings. Responsibility is for accepting her role in a situation and not to be quick to blame others. So far, my new travel coffee mug has been used twice without asking. I still have some teaching to do. Even though the school year ends tomorrow, my daughter still has some learning to do.

What gives?

I spent yesterday in bed with a head cold and even made myself chicken soup. Today I had several meetings and worked on my newsletter article in between. With all that has been going on for the last two days, can someone explain why my house can't function with me at the helm? What's going to happen when I travel this summer and leave the house, kid and dog behind with adult supervision? I just hope the plants get watered and don't die.

A beautiful weekend......

My daughter and I had a staycation using my aunt and uncle's apartment as home base. We walked the city, visited a museum, shopped and had high tea. It was an awesome belated Mother's Day gift to have this time my girl. Some days I feel she is growing up fast and it was just yesterday I was changing her diapers. Yet, she heads to middle school next fall. My mom and I had several mother/daughter trips that hold a special place in my heart. I hope this weekend will remain in my daughter's heart.

Magazines galore....

How many of you get magazines that you  don't read, let alone page through? I do. After spending the last few Saturday mornings reading and paging through my back log, I decided not to renew some. It is not just because I don't read them, it is the fact that I ordered a subscription for a particular reason and the magazines don't meet it. This is why I don't read them. Now I just I need to figure out what to do about my daughter's back log.

Stress?

When it was time to get ready for bed, myvdaughter started to organize her room. Cleaning isn't necessary, since she keeps her room neat. I asked her why she was organizing and she said she was doing it to relieve stress. My room growing up was messy and I am sure my parents would have liked me to have my daughter's quality. My way to reduce stress is to bake. My daughter's way is less fattening and better for the mind. Sometimes it pays to learn from our children.

That sinking feeling....,

I went to get a manicure today. I sat down in the adjustable chair to dry my nails in the dryer and it felt like the chair was getting lower to the ground. The chair wasn't moving, the sensation was coming from me. It was the first time all week I have really set down--I am getting on a plane tomorrow to visit my best friend, have a reception to attend tonight, a client yesterday and a Tuesday that was super busy. I can't even remember Monday any more. Throw in the kid, the dog and packing and a few hours relaxing on a plane will be bliss. I spent the time drying my nails thinking about what's left to do before my taxi arrives. I didn't freak out, I simply planned and even if I stay up late (for a early morning flight) I will go to bed with a sense of accomplishment from today and the week. The relaxation on the plane will be a just reward for my hard work this week.

Ok, here goes...

I decided to throw myself back in the pond online and start dating. It has been 18 years and 1 marriage ending in divorce since I had a date. II took a workshop, crafted a profile, identified pictures to use and even signed on to an online dating service and yet I can't bring myself to really do it. I even came designed a tracking system in Excel (I am a productivity coach) to track matches that reach out to me and the ones I reach out to. Still no go. Is it the 18 year hiatus that scares me? Is it the between the sheets that scares me? Is it the Single Mom homeowner with a dog descriptor that scares me? Well, it is all of them. It is no longer about me meeting a mate. It is also my kid, my dog, my home and my business meeting a mate. That is a lot to swallow and easily stomach turning. And to boot I am not a water girl, but I guess I just need to dive in and get swimming. Thanks for reading (and listening to) my rant.

Applying to MS, what gives?

I am in the throes of applying to public middle schools for my daughter. Where I live, each school has their own set of criteria to evaluate candidates--some interview, some do assessment tests, some just look at grades and some are by lottery. I feel sorry for my 11 y.o. having to go through all of this. Colleges and universities got it right--grades, SAT or ACT scores and an essay for all of them. What are we doing to our kids?!

Opposites.....

Last night at 11:30 my daughter decided to stop working on her school project due today and finish it in the morning. She then said to me, "I'm a procrastinator." I thought, "how am I a time management coach and my daughter is a procrastinator." The I remembered the old adage--the cobbler's children have no shoes.

My new look...

My daughter decided I now need a new look complete with growing my hair long again.....

Shout outs are due....

I have been recovering from surgery and tomorrow will be the two week mark. So some gratitude should be given out. First, to my mom who has taken care of me —finishing unpacking after our renovation, cooking dinner and giving me sponge baths, until I was allowed to take a shower. I remember loving sponge baths as a kid, but  not so much as an adult. Second, to my daughter who reminded me everyday that laughter is the best medicine (keep it up). Last but not least, to my extended family and friends, who sent well wishes in the form of cards, food, flowers and healing energy. At two weeks out I am rested, energized and ready for life in my new body thanks to all of you. At this time of year it is important to count our blessings and not the number of presents we get.

New Year, New Me and New Name, for blog that is.....

New Year's is fast approaching; well we need to finish the winter holidays and my birthday first. Even before all of this can happen, I need to finish recovering from medically needed breast reduction surgery that was done to alleviate back and neck pain. With the aid of my mom and daughter, I am recovering well and on my way to a "new" me, that is a "pain-free" me.  Carpal Tunnel Release surgery on both wrists and now this qualify me to describe myself as new and not updated. In this vane, I am reinventing my blog to be more about my life— "a mouthful of busy" as I described it in my journal last night. In fact in that same entry,  I described myself as a solorprenuer, divorced single mom, home owner with a dog. Now you see the busy.

So as of January 1st, 2016 look for my blog under it's new name, A Mouthful of Busy.

Thanks and have a great holiday season,
Mali

What's in a word?

When I punish my daughter, I have to say no screens or of late have said no devices to mean no videos, TV and/or Instagram because any thing less and I might hear, "Mom, it isn't videos, just FaceTime."

Goals for the young....

My daughter's goals for 5th grade.....